In Southans words, “ does your good deed make as much of a difference as simply handing over the money? If not. How good of a deed is it really ?” the message is clear, but is there movement limited to people who have a large enough income to support donating to a cause?

Southan depicts the EA’s values through his words, “ does your good deed make as much of a difference as simply handing over the money? If not. How good of a deed is it really ?” The EA movement bases the worth of donations on the monetary value of the donation rather than the amount of happiness it brings the people who receive it. 

In fact when Sam Hilton, a member if the EA, was asked about the ability of art to save lives, he replied,  “ The idea that someone’s book, film, painting, or dance could be their way of to reduce the world’s suffering struck Hilton as bizarre, almost to the point of incoherence.”  But how could it? Has he never been emotionally moved by a picture or film? Art holds power, its ability to move human expression through a broad range of emotions displays arts ability to change lives.

In fact when Sam Hilton, a member if the EA, was asked about the ability of art to save lives, he replied,  “ The idea that someone’s book, film, painting, or dance could be their way of to reduce the world’s suffering struck Hilton as bizarre, almost to the point of incoherence.”  The EA views ending world suffering one way when its a more complex issue that is multidimensional and can be cured with many acts of human nature and is not limited to sharing your fortune with the less fortunate. 

Following the peer revision I have determined that I am going to need to go through the texts another time and look for quotes to use as evidence to support my claims. I’m also going to look for another example of art making a change in history. I also need to put more supporting claims in my third paragraph where I make a debatable point about how art can make a change in society and save lives. My biggest struggle with the free draft was evidence so I need to look for more examples in the text and also online or in the news that will drive my point home in relation to the EA movement. Another struggle was word count and by getting more evidence it will lengthen paragraphs and spark new ideas which could stem into new paragraphs. I believe that I will be able to find ideas through the media which would help me meet my goals. I also am going to look into restructuring some of my paper as I was given ideas about switching certain sentences. I’m hoping that this will help polish up my paper and make a smoother flow of my thesis driven by evidence through the entire paper. I’m also planning on looking for quotes about art ending suffering so I can directly compare it to the EA’s mission statement. I’m also planning on rewatching the TED talk in order to get a deeper grasp on Titus Kaphar’s message so I can better represent it in my essay. After I have an abundant amount of evidence I can then comb through my essay and weed out any information that isn’t relevant to my message.

Ideas-  I thought this was a great use of a historical figure for evidence in order to further the authors argument and support their thesis. 

“For example, propaganda was big during World War II. Citizens and soldiers alike were influenced by the posters of Uncle Sam and Rosy the Riveter, among other patriotic and nationalistic posters.”

Evidence- Good use of posing a question while simultaneously supporting the message the author is supporting and challenging the ideology of the EA movement.

“If propaganda back then had that influence, then why can’t people like Kaphar and Southan do the same thing today?”

Organization- I commented this is a quote is a possibility for a closing argument as it takes the EA’s argument and uses it to counter itself while supporting the authors thesis.

“Sometimes artists paint the world burning, however sometimes they paint houses and change people’s world.” 

My experience prioritizing global edits over local edits was rather uncomfortable as my entire life teachers have pushed the importance spelling, grammar, and organization. It was interesting to switch my focus to stretching and pushing the authors argument in order to strengthen the paper as a whole. I found it is not only helpful for the author that you are assisting but also for yourself as it opens your mind to new ideas. While helping to strengthen my peers argument I was able to discover the missing pieces to my own argument.